[Bf-marketing] Press release BBB

[Tom M]

On Sun, Mar 16, 2008 at 5:16 AM, Ton Roosendaal <ton at blender.org> wrote:
> Hi,
>
>
>  My nitpicks back: :)
>
>
>  > The primary intent of the movie was to stimulate the development of
>  > Blender 3D, the open source 3D software"
>
>  It's Blender! Further repeating 3d isn't needed...

Ok 'the development of Blender, the open source 3D software' is fine then

> >
>  > A unusual feature of "Big Buck Bunny", is that the tools, characters,
>

>  "Unusual" is not very positive... I used the word "differentiates" to
>  indicate "stand out among" too.
>  Isn't there a nicer way to say it positive?

good point,

'A unique feature of'


>
>  > and artwork used to make the movie, as well as the movie itself will
>  > be freely downloadable and usable by anyone under a 'Creative Commons'
>  > license.
>
>  Why remove the the more personal "to reuse, learn from, or enjoy"?

okay adding it back is fine - but they have far more rights than that,
not sure what the best phrasing is.


>
>  > The promotion of 'open content creation' and distribution is one of
>
>  Whatfor the apostrophes here?

hmm it feels right, but I suppose it is not needed.

>
>  > the main goals of the Creative Commons, the organization that created
>  > the 'Creative Commons' licenses which have been widely adopted by
>  > artists, musicians, and other creative individuals who wish to freely
>  > share their creative endeavors.
>
>  Here I added professional adoption of the CC... maybe too much?
>

As far as I know professional adoption of the CC isn't a specific goal
of CC - just its adoption in general.  Might want to ask the CC people
to be sure.

>  > Blender Institute in Amsterdam is one of the first companies worldwide
>  > exploiting Open Content professionally and commercially. The
>  > Institutes current projects include adding the final touches on
>
>  Institute's <-- right?

doh! yep I believe you are correct...  That is one of the consistent
grammatical errors that I fail to catch :)

>
>  > 'Big Buck Bunny', and development of an "open game" based on the
>  > characters
>  > from the movie.
>  >
>  > 'Big Buck Bunny' is a (dark) comedy about a well-tempered rabbit "Big
>  > Buck", who finds his day spoiled by the rude actions of the forest
>  > bullies, three rodents. In the typical 1950's cartoon tradition Big
>  > Buck then prepares for the rodents a comical revenge.
>  >
>  > The creative team behind 'Big Buck Bunny' were brought together by the
>  > Blender Institute
>
>  It then should be 'was brought'.

bah another grammar mistake - you are correct...

>
>  I also note the very strange mix of apostrophes and quotes... should
>  fix it.

Yes it should be consistent I think I left some from your version and
when I was adding them elsewhere used my own.  quotes are probably
more correct.

>
>  -Ton-
>
>
>
>  ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>  --
>  Ton Roosendaal  Blender Foundation ton at blender.org
>  http://www.blender.org
>
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